I have, without harsh intent, offended the delicate sensibilities of one of my readers — or rather, one of my now-former readers — and the shame and horror of it has me on the verge of swooning.
I included in my last newsletter a pointer to an online poll to determine the best sandwich in the world. This poll included photos of attractive young ladies in modern swimwear enjoying the sandwiches. A reader wrote me to say:
Where is the cooking advice? This newsletter was a joke! Seriously, women in bikini’s eating pork. Your a pig!
What did your wife say about it? Maybe you should run the newsletters by her first….
I can not tell you how upset this makes me. I immediately rushed to my wife to ask her forgiveness, and secure her promise to restrain my baser impulses in the future. She read the newsletter — no, I hadn’t showed it to her in advance, how stupid of me — then read the comments from my ex-reader.
Here’s what she had to say.
What?! By this summer I’m going to be the one in the bikini eating a pulled pork sandwich. Would she rather people think the only way for girls to look good is to eat carrots?
There’s a reason I love this woman.
UPDATE:
IN addition to the comments below, I’ve gotten quite a few emails in response to this.
Are you serious? Your reader had a valid point, and your wife’s reaction (which she is of course entitled to) is completely beside that point. Count me in as a reader that does not find cheesecake photos of women as delightful as you apparently do. I read a cooking blog for the recipes – not to see women objectified. And particularly not to see a faithful reader mocked. This was an ugly post.
– Nancy
I think I like your wife, Frank! [NOTE: It's Drew, not Frank.]
Life is serious enough already without making everything a big thing!– Jo
I love your newsletter, so take that! to the old former reader prude.
I want to look good in a bikini even though I eat pork sandwiches too!
Love the couch, what a fabulous find. Your wife sounds like a fun person to know.– Becky
No now, Becky, we don’t need any name calling here.
Sometimes it gets a bit much when we can’t even read a recipe without having it made into a sex ad.. that was her point I think.. maybe if you had hot men instead it would help.
– J
but where are the recipes?
sincerely,
– Ann.
And finally …
Haha! Yeah, I guess I over reacted a little. My husband thinks this newsletter is the funniest thing he ever read. No hard feelings!
Sincerely,
Your not so former reader…
And I guess that’s all I’ve got to say about that.
Want more like this? For more recipes like this, that you can hold right in your hands, and write on, take notes, tear pages out if you want (Gosh, you're tough on books, aren't you?) you might be interested in How To Cook Like Your Grandmother, 2nd edition, Illustrated. Or to learn your way around the kitchen, check out Starting From Scratch: The Owner's Manual for Your Kitchen.
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17 Comments
Go, wifey! Excellent point!
You had me at the classy spelling of ‘vapours’.
Your newsletter is free, yes? I guess complaining to you was cheaper than calling a shrink.
Never mind your correspondent’s confusion of “your” with “you’re”. I’m not a militant grammarian, but that particular mistake is vexing.
Do you have any idea how hard it was for me to not pick at the grammar? I knew someone would get it for me. Thanks.
My feelings exactly! It’s your blog and if they don’t like it, they can go elsewhere. Maybe there is a Prim blog dot com.
Sir! I must say I, too, am offended by your fainting couch! I was once frightened by my mother’s horrid hot pink velvet one, especially when I tried to move it. (I think it’s where she hid the bodies, it was so heavy.) Girls in bikinis eating pulled pork sandwiches have nothing on heavy, hot pink fainting couches! You should be ashamed and you should never speak to your lovely wife on the subject! The very idea…! I would also unsubscribe, but am too lazy and must now go find a sandwich and recline on my regular, not fainting couch for several hours of thought.
Sounds to me that it’s a blessing the “former” person signed off your blog. If she didn’t like what you said, she should have kept the comment to herself! There are people in this world who are just looking for a fight, especially since you can’t see her in person.
Yeah, they wanna fight on the Internet. They’s gonna caps lock you to death, watch out. lol!
The woman is just as entitled to her opinion as you are to yours. It’s sad how quick you and your readers are jumping to ridicule and belittle someone for daring to have an opinion differing from your own.
As a matter of fact, I agree with the woman. That newsletter bothered me and made me consider unsubscribing too. I’m sorry, but half naked women in suggestive poses have nothing to do with cooking. What’s surprising to me, though, is you expected everyone to be thrilled with your cheering the objectification of women.
Your wife’s reaction has less than nothing to do with this. She may not be offended or bothered, but that doesn’t mean others are wrong to be offended. “I asked a few women who weren’t bothered therefore it CANNOT possibly be troubling to others. If some women *are* troubled, they’re simply over-reacting and stupid.”
@ Frugal Jen- It’s not an excellent point. I somehow doubt Drew’s wife will be writhing around in a bikini, suggestively feeding sandwiches to other half naked women. And it’s a complete straw man to pretend the reader was offended by women eating pork! The issue is the objectification of women, not the choice of food. I would be very curious to hear why you believe scantily clad women are in any way, shape, or form relevant to a poll on the merits of various sandwiches?
@ Will Buthod- Why is the reader not allowed to write Drew? If Drew would prefer to not receive email responses, he should remove his address. Why not address the substance of the reader’s objection as opposed to zeroing in on a trivial, grammatical error?
Bottom line, sexy photos are about the last thing you’d expect to see when reading a blog entitled “How to Cook Like Your Grandmother.” In fact, one might expect something more along the lines of “A Guide to Cooking with Real Food the Way Your Grandma Used To.” Weird idea, huh?
Dang, I’m sorry I missed this newsletter, but seriously Mel.. lighten up and learn to laugh at life!
It’s not too late to sign up.
I did not meet my maternal grandmother until she was well into her 50′s, so imagine my surprise when I was going through one of many boxes of old photos and found a gorgeous flapper with ruby lips, a black dress, black bobbed hair, a neck ribbon and a red rose in her hair. I asked my grandmother who it was and to my surprise, she told me that was her, at age 18. She was a stone fox!
I see absolutely nothing wrong with showing beautiful women in bikinis, especially if they are not the starved-looking, barely-out-of-puberty, boy-bodied types the media keeps shoving down our throats. I have wonderful friends who all think of themselves as fat cows, despite the fact that not a single one weighs over 150 pounds and all of them are at least 5 feet 7 inches tall.
Wow, it seems as if there are some very angry people writing here. Did I miss something, as to why a person would unsubscribe to a blog because of one newsletter? Calling someone a pig because of a newsletter? Wow!
So I will pose next to your wife with a pork and bacon sandwich. In biquini, of course!!!!!!
I’m still having trouble getting over the fact that the angry reader does not know the difference between your and you’re.
What?! This blog is written by a man??
My wife thinks so.