I should be the Iron Foodie

So I wasn’t picked for The Next Food Network Star. Didn’t know I was auditioning? You should sign up for the newsletter.

And I didn’t win the Healthy Food Fight. Again, you should be following the newsletter. You’d know I made the potted chicken, and it was awesome.

So maybe I’ll win the Iron Foodie. To enter, I have to answer these five questions:

1. Why do you want to compete in this challenge?

I like the idea of working with some exotic ingredients. Well, exotic to me. Nearly everything is everyday food to someone.

2. Limitations of time/space notwithstanding, whose kitchen would you like to spend the day in & why? Julia Child, Thomas Keller, Ferran Adria, James Beard, Marie-Antoine Careme, or The Swedish Chef?

Are you kidding? The Swedish Chef! Bork-bork! (Okay, Julia would be a blast, too. But I want to see what I’d look like as a muppet.)

3. What morsel are you most likely to swipe from family & friends’ plates when they aren’t looking?

I have to sneak the bits of fat from the edge of a steak when my wife isn’t looking. And I have to do it before Winnie sees what I’m doing, or she’ll beat me to it.

4. Sum your childhood up in one meal.

Meatloaf cooked with macaroni in the middle layer, ketchup on top, and iced tea in a plastic cup … until I went away to college, I was drinking out of that plastic cup.

5. The one mainstream food you can’t stand?

Do Gummi Bears count? No, those aren’t even food. Okay, I’ll have to go with pumpkin pie. I’ve tried to like it, but it ain’t happening.

Do I win?

I guess I’ll find out on the 10th. Wish me luck.